Jaegerclones

Although Jaegerclones have been cloned to do many things, they are all cloned to be very aggressive and intense.  Due to their extreme behavior, it is well understood that a climbing session has not finished until blood is drawn, every single time.  Even when they are not climbing they are still prone to bleed. Here is a photo of what happened when a Jaegerclone tried to clean out its ear with a Q-tip.

JJaeger vs. Jens / Sockhands <3 PRob

Lest you think sockhands' insanity is limited to his scorecard, observe these gems from climbingnarc's site:

sock hands says:
December 3rd, 2008 at 12:52 pm

funny that jens never gives me a hard time about the 1,000 variations i log for each and every climb i do.

fools might think that this is because i never send anything of importance or merit, but the wise know that it is because jens FEARS MY UTTER AND COMPLETE DOMINATION OF THE INTERWEBNET! no on dare oppose my powers, expecially the swedes!

now i must flex and remind little jens that only one person can berate and publically mock paul robinson on the intardweb and it is ME.

next, i’d like to point out how much paul looks like the kid who plays edmound in the chronikalz of gnarnia movies… especially the new one that just came out on netflix… since everyone knows that bouldering anything over v9 is only for total and complete dooshbags, perhaps paul can give up on climbing, kidnap that actor kid, and replace him for the next movie?


sock hands says:
December 4th, 2008 at 10:44 am

please note that anyone who posts to a climbing forum on the internet is off topic… topic being: work; life; responsibility.

some of us just fall deeper into the fantasy land.

FRITTERS, BITCH! FRITTERING YOUR BILLABLE HOURS AWAY CAN BE OH SO SWEET AND TASTY!


sock hands says:
December 4th, 2008 at 10:45 am

@ narc. i was confused too. and above, i may be again.

8A Comments (again)

"blood drops froze"

"no spotter=crappants"

"elim. vexingdihedral"

"justpasts+s,slappy"

"holy super neato weeeeeeeeeeee"

"midnight sneakerpimping whilst drinking beers with a man in a sasquach suit"

"before getting tagged. mooned jetboat tourists after send. they cheered."

"workR.>slopy sidepul"

"blank top horror"

"st: tt> r. >horn 5/6"

"locals=BIGrattler + wasp swarm"

"cool>evil crys.pinchn tall top"

"fool: my ownership of this is obvious. advanced mantle tech., but easier than center."

"str8up frm mid. crowd trav.v6?"

"big dp-gstnORpkt v8?"

More Email...

8:11 AM
while i do not support the conclusion amy has made regarding the appletini - beer death match, i will suggest this: try the appletinis with a little caramel sauce lightly mixed in. damn fine candy drink but more than one will give a sugar stomachache. the caramel sauce is located in the icecream topping isle.

live that.

i feel comfortable disseminating this information because beer prices keep rising and i'd like to lessen the demand so that i can get 22oz bottles of arrogant bastard down to $0.50 somehow

8:12 AM
maybe if you used the bubble pinch on the steep wall on a boulder problem you would have sent the worm turns as you had guaranteed you would.... then, you could have been in front of the camera as well as behind it!

8:14 AM
last i heard from emerson's txt updates, you were "close". this was, like, three days into your trip. maybe if you didn't lose your backbone by deleting your scorecard [ha!], i would have known this.

we live in the information age. suck it up.


!

8:27 AM
plz send me your joe's valley tick list and all other problems you have done in the last two months.

or die.

11:44 AM
weak. ho am i supposed to keep tabs on friends, then?

you all suck.

no one even sends me trip or session updates.

yet again i am forced into the grim realization that i should not take stock in the success of my friends ever again, as they do not even provide the necessary TPS reports.

you all suck!

12:08 PM
in all likelihood it will be a short session with warming up not allowed. you are most certainly welcome to join, but i'm providing notice as to the neurotic nature of the session so that you are not later bummed that you did not chose a longer, less frantic session.

word up.

4:25 PM
where is this knocking room located?

is it about 50 yards across from scary monsters?

i thought it was v9? are you too sikk for v9?

i also heard long ago that it was v11. super sikk?

4:40 PM
who flashed it?

4:45 PM
so you think i can send it?

4:48 PM
cause that's what it all comes down to: can I do it.

nothing else matters.

you know this.


More to come . . .

Clones Caugh on Film!

In this rare photo we see several Jeagerclones at work in their basement lair. It would seem these particular Jaegerclones have been tasked with either managing the numerous Jaegerblogs or monitoring every forum-based website known to mankind. While these three represent but a fraction of the total Jaegerclone population, little is know at this time about the activities of the others.


More to come . . .

Emails

Ever 10 seconds I receive an email from sockface. Being a normal and sane person, I find it nearly impossible to sift through all of the lawyer speak/insanity/obsessive over-analytical language/"jokes". However, when seen as a tool of mockerey, Baron von Insaneface has provided us with a lifetime of laughter. Let's have a look at today's example:

"hello mc and jamie: the butter: you are both super awesome doods !!! your videos make my office life worth living. xoxo. the demand: mike, i have heard that jamie has footage of a super ill v8/9 at joe's valley climbed by rylan marshall. i require this to show up on mvm. if your arrangement with jamie is to pay for such videos, then i suggest that you do so pay him so you can run this video online. the threat: OR ELSE I WILL BRING DOWN YOUR EVIL INTARDWEB EMPIRE WITH SNEAK ATTACTICKS. best regards, straight to your facesvery truly yoursand so on and so forth, -- the shining light of truth and justice"

Also we see evindence that JJ does indeed have a clone army with his reference to "empires" and "sneak attacticks".

More to come...

Thats Impossible!!!!!!!!!!11111111

Is it possible that one man could have the time to be married, run a kennel, be a full time lawyer, operate 2 websites, register, login and post on 6000 more, simultaneously be autistic and rabid, and climb 1600 boulder problems? Obviously not.  You may ask how does he do it?

JAEGERCLONES!!!!!!111111111

more to come...

Also added links to two sites dealing with Autism. Enjoy.